Me fail english? That's unpossible!

Oh Ralph....I feel your pain.

Ok so i know you all have heard of the new game show smarter than a 5th grader. Seriously how hard can it be?? SO i watched an episode. No studying, nothin.

I guess for any game show esp. jeopardy, millionaire, etc you would hype yourself up and study your face off for you NEVER know what they might throw at you. But seriously, who needs to study for questions that are on the level of a 5th grader? Not me!

Color me pleasently surprised...I felt like the dumbest kid on the block!!!!! Remember how i went to college, remember all the cool things i have done and what all my experiences have taught me......yeah guess what....useless!!!

Ok, so, I'm not asking you to watch it regularly, just catch one episode, without the help of the internet or a calculator...see how you do. I know there are a few of you out there that will prove me wrong and get every damn question right but for the rest of us...check it out.

I took a little pre-test before watching the show to boost my confidence. I got a 3. Yep as embarrassing as it is...i got a 3. Take the test, but don't tell me your score, let me think you did as bad as i did...please.

So in retrospect.....Mrs. Falkowski, I am so sorry I have disppointed you, you were a great 5th grade teacher and i respect all you do....more than you know. That stuff is HARD! Who needs college when all i needed to do was end my education at 5th grade and then go on this game show and win a buttload of money....Hindsight is a bitch.

Seriuosly?!?!??!

I was having a really good week. Work is good, the weather is good, been going out a lot and having fun...but then i see this. Thats all i gotta say. Seriously Maeve are you trying to kill me here? I wanna start seeing some pictures that make me think you miss me....ok?? Enough of the happy "look how much fun i have without you" stuff. Maybe we need to sit down and talk about this when i am in town next week. ok? ok. See you next week Obdue!!!!

Some may say...

Egyptian Ratscrew, is a card game. I know it sounds awful but it's a hoot to play. It is almost remanisant of the card game war but with more people.

Here's the official definition....(i will highlight some key parts):

• Egyptian Ratscrew is an unusual, extremely fast-paced game vaguely reminiscent of slapjack, spit, speed, stress, nurse, etc. for two or more players. It can get pretty hot. Anyone can play, but to be good requires quick thinking, fast reflexes, and tough hands.

• Divide the deck into approximately equal stacks, one for each player.

• The goal is to get all the cards.

• The player to the left of the dealer plays her top card face up on the playing surface where everyone can reach it. The wise players takes care to take their hand off of a played card as quickly as possible to avoid injury and let play continue quickly and smoothly.

• People can try to "slap" the pile. This can be an actual slap, a subtle tap, a quick sweep, or even a full-force hammer-fist.

• For instance, if the two top cards form a pair then anyone may attempt to be the first to slap the pile. Whoever slaps the pile first gets it. Sometimes it may be difficult to determine who slapped the pile first, as there may be tangled fingers, a broken table, or sometimes blood(players may consider instituting a "no rings" policy).

In reading some websites about the official rules these are some variations that i enjoyed reading about....

"For the adventurous, Egyptian Ratscrew can be played as a full-contact game: when a slap criterion is met, the pile is open to any competition: Restrictive variations also exist, mostly to curb the more violent or injurious aspects of slapping. The most popular is 'no rings', which requires players to remove rings and other jewelry from their hands while playing. A ring will create a pressure point when slapping on top of a prior slapper's hand, and some players may deliberately use this for psychological warfare to make people hesitate."

"Other forms of psychological warfare include deliberately slapping hard well after ownership of the deck has been established for the sole purpose of injuring the hands of the players who made the slap on-time. Extreme players make their hands into fists for the purpose of causing maximum damage."

My personal favorite......

"As a method to prevent players hovering their hand over the pile, a rule can be placed where a player must first slap their forehead before they may slap the pile."

Okey dokey...so needless to say...even if you didn't understand how to play the game you get the point that there is slapping involved. This being said....everyone plays this game with their own flare. For example.....

Lou is a poor loser....if he slaps the pile and does not win it he takes it out on the person next to him. (most of the time it's marc)

Poor Marc, he just plays the game all sorts of fair and square and always get the crap beaten out of him...mostly from Lou

Nicole...how shall i say....occassionally cheats...and i'll give her the credit that she's good at it, but she has an unfair advantage and we all know it. She has long arms....this is mostly useful specifically for reaching the pile of cards better than everyone else. We oh so lovingly gave her the nickname, monkey arms, for obvious reasons.

I on the other hand have short arms...this proves to be a disadvantage to me, but no worries i make up for it :) In the heat of the game as people are being bruised and battered, insults start to fly...all in good fun ofcourse.

In response to me harping on Nicoles monkey arms one day she told me that maybe i would have a better chance slapping the pile if i didn't have "T-rex arms". Ok now thats hilarious...just think about it! Funny? Yep...i thought so. Anywho...this is an ongoing joke and i'm all for it.

So why this long drawn out blog about the card game...

Well..... this commercial game out i just about fell down and died.

love it